Grade 12, Rena Le Lona
I just got home and now both parents start plying me with questions, “Where did you go, What did you do? Who went along?”
When I was younger, privacy probably wasn’t such a big deal. If my sibling barged into my room, I welcomed the company. If my parents asked me a question, I answered without hesitation. Back then, my life was an open book. Now I may wish I could close the cover, “I like it when I can just keep some things to myself.”
When I seek solitude there are a number of valid reasons for me to seek out solitude. Perhaps I just want to rest up a bit. Or when I want to pray, I may, as Jesus advised his disciples, “Go into my private room and after shutting my door, pray to my Father.”
But I actually asked what I can do, rather than turn the privacy issue into a battle. When it comes to my siblings, I try to set a few reasonable ground rules so that I can have some time to myself. If needed, I can see if my parents can help in this regard.
I sometimes ask myself honestly, have I given my parents reason to suspect that I’m up to no good when my door is closed? Have I been so secretive about my personal life that they feel they must resort to covert tactics to learn about me? If my answer to those questions is no and my parents still seem untrusting, then I can calmly and respectfully tell them how I feel.
My parents don’t want anything to happen to me and at times they may seem to intrude on my privacy. It doesn’t seem fair but honestly, if I were a parent, I would probably do the same thing.
During adolescence, it’s normal for me to form friendships outside my family. It’s also normal for my parents to wonder who my friends are and what I am doing when I am not with them but at times, I may feel that their concern borders on paranoia. I just want to have my cellphone and my email without my parents looking over my shoulder every ten minutes to ask who I’m talking to.
Instead of letting my friendships create a barrier between me and my parents, I can bring my friends out into the open and make sure my parents are acquainted with them. After all, I might not like my parents playing detective butwhat choice do they have if my friends are a mystery. The
more my parents know about the people I spend time with, the more comfortable they’re likely to be about my choice of friends.
What I want is to be honest with myself. Is the issue privacy or is it secrecy? If I’m living at home and my parents have a concern, my thought should be what I am doing isn’t bad, so why should I have to hide it?