Grade 10, PUSH
Society today makes it very clear that teenage pregnancy is wrong and yes, I agree, it is wrong. Why would a child have a child? Well, that question has no answer, but let me tell you my story: I am Tameesha Mckay and I am 28 years old. My daughter is Tamica and she is 12 years old. Her father… Don’t even ask about him. He is Thabo and he is 33 years old. Quite a few years older than me, right?
I was born in the year 1994, in the month of February. I was born and raised in Eldorado Park. I lived with my aunt, as both my parents passed away in a car accident when I was only three years old. Nevertheless, my aunt has been there for me since I can remember. She is Aunt Mariah Mckay and she will be 65 years old this year.
Growing up, my aunt taught me to stay away from boys and I did, but eventually as I grew older, I became prettier and wanted to know and discover about boys for myself. So, I started making a lot of friends and soon I was one of the popular kids in my school. One afternoon, I was walking home with my friends when this guy approached me. He was tall, dark-skinned and had the brightest smile ever, or was I just dreaming? He asked to speak to me, and I agreed. As we talked, he made me laugh and smile so much. He told me that he wanted to get to know me and hang out sometime and I agreed. We exchanged contact numbers and that’s the day I invited trouble, called Thabo, into my life.
Thabo started fetching me from school every afternoon. He was five years older than me. He was born in 1989. He was 21 and I was only 16 years old. Thabo was sweet, handsome and smart. He bought me lunch every afternoon and took me out at times — just the best.
After two months of “dating,” Thabo told me how much he loved my body and that he wanted to see it all, soon. All I did was smile and agree as I thought he was joking, but soon he invited me to his house. How I regret going there. From the moment we stepped into the yard, it felt like I was doing something wrong, but with Thabo everything felt right. As we entered his house it was quiet. We started listening to music. Soon we were watching movies and when I looked again, I was in his bed.
“Tell me this is a dream!” A statement that was repeating in my head over and over again. Soon we got dressed and Thabo took me home. I felt light-headed and like I lost a part of me at his house.
That night I could not eat. All I was thinking about was what I did. “Why did I go to his house?” I cried out to myself in bed. My aunt wondered what happened, but I told her that I had an upset tummy.
“Must be something you ate,” she said. How guilty I felt. My conscience ate me up that night, piece by piece, until I fell asleep.
The next morning, I woke up feeling nauseous and light-headed. I could not move. My head was spinning and next thing I knew, I was in the bathroom, puking. Mind you, Aunt Mariah was gone to work already. After a while, I rinsed my mouth, got my phone and called Thabo. First it went to voicemail. I dialled again and the same tone, “Welcome to voicemail.” Just then I started crying but I still got up and took a bath. I still could not eat but I went to school. That afternoon I was waiting for Thabo, and did he show up? No!
I walked home and bought a pregnancy test, went to Thabo’s house and found him watching soccer. I ran to the bathroom and took the test. How I was praying that it would come out negative. I could not imagine myself as a mother, at least not then. I had my whole future planned out — one month left and I would be in matric. I had this picture in my head of studying Law, getting married and settling down, but no, Thabo just ruined it all.
After a few minutes of waiting, the test came out positive. I fell to the ground crying. I was disappointed in myself. What am I going to tell my aunt? How am I going to tell her? What will she do? My school, my life? It’s all over!
Three hours later, after Thabo and I discussed the way forward, we went to my aunt to tell her. I was so scared, but I had to tell her. I asked Thabo to tell her, and he did it. She left us in the lounge and went to the room, locked the door and stayed in there for 30 minutes. We looked at each other, trying to figure out what had just happened. Just then we saw her with three big suitcases.
I started crying and asked, “Are those my clothes?” She said, “Take your bags and leave my house. You are a woman now, right?” I begged her not to do that to me, but she was really disappointed.
Thabo and I left and went to his house. We arrived there and his parents, Aunt Joice and Uncle Sipho, were home already. As we entered, they shook their heads. Thabo made me sit and explain the story to them. He told them that my aunt put me out of her house, and we were expecting a baby. They were shocked and disappointed. They shouted at us, but they said I was welcome to live there. They gave us a room at the back of the house to live in.I had to grow up now.
I pushed to go to school every day. Some mornings I would feel so tired. It was so hard to get out of bed, but I knew that I had to go to school and work hard to get my matric certificate. Sometimes I went to bed not knowing the whereabouts of Thabo, but at least his parents were there for me and made sure I had my necessities. As the months went by, I started feeling my stomach grow. There was a human inside of me. This human was eating, breathing and living inside of me. Sometimes my baby would move around and kick a bit which made me really happy.
Every month my condition got worse: the sleeping, the fatigue, cravings and even the loss of appetite.
Finally, the ninth month arrived, and I had to leave school to give birth. I was so scared. I was stressed and nervous, but I knew sooner or later this would have to happen. When I went into labour, I missed my aunt. She would have eased the pain, but Aunt Joice was there. She helped me with everything, including applying for a birth certificate for my baby, Tamica.
The first three months at home with my baby were hectic: so many sleepless nights and I was constantly hungry as she was eating from me, but I continued with my education online. I had to go to school to write my exams though and everyone talked about me. Yes, it was hard facing them, but I had to.
After some time passed, I matriculated! I was so happy. I went to visit my aunt with my baby. She fell in love with baby Tamica. Soon after Tamica turned six months old, one of my high school friends arranged a photo shoot for me. From then on, I started progressing. Everything was so good. I started modelling and got an income to take care of my baby.
When Tamica turned six years old, she officially joined a modelling agency. She has been modelling since then. When she turned nine, I enrolled her in a drama school. She is 12 years old now and I’m 28. Our lives have been going well.
Being a teenage mother does not stop you from achieving your goals, but sometimes it sets you on another route to success.